We Still Love John

September 10, 2009

Meeting #1: Getting to Know John

Filed under: #1: problem encounter, meeting minutes — Tags: — welovejohn @ 2:08 am

Meeting the Problem

What are your thoughts on this scenario? What comes to mind? What do we know? What are the statements of facts we can identify? What is meant by this sentence? What do you think about that statement? Do you have any idea about this term/concept?

  • Mother’s boyfriend is authoritarian, but doesn’t have love at home—experiences verbal and physical abuse from parents instead
  • History of aggression, because of his family background—very reactive
  • Neglect by family

Needs a lot of love from his teacher—Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Self-actualisation. Teacher needs to show care in a way that he can see it. (Not just telling him to study.) From a student’s point of view, it seems that they only care about you if you do well. A lot of attention given to results. Teacher should be caring yet firm; still have expectations of the student, but explain. Don’t attack a person’s character, but the action: something that they can change. Behaviour vs. personality.

Expectations (teacher and student’s)

showing in his behavior (ability vs. effort)


  • Influence of the expectations of the teachers on the student (Mr Fong)


  • Bad in Chinese in Primary Two
  • Bad performance
  • Calls himself stupid, that he is brain-damaged
  • Low self-esteem: “I’ve been failing…”
  • Learned helplessness: and doesn’t put in effort into his work because it doesn’t translate into results or affection. It used to be the case that his parents would show pleasure at his grades, but now there’s no more incentive.
  • Non-performance: Not even trying in the Math class; copying instead
  • Performance avoidance, self-handicap? To protect his self-worth, because he doesn’t want to try and then fail and look bad.
Poor coping strategies (internal) how he deals with stress à resilience
  • Aggression towards himself (banging his head) and others (throwing chair at teacher)—so corporeal punishment doesn’t work because they feel like martyrs. John feels no respect towards authoritarian figures.
  • Avoidance (swaggers off)
  • Escapes by gaming his stress away (escapism)
  • Doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings in a proper manner (deals with it by banging his head instead)

Social skills (interpersonal) how he deals with people

  • Probably doesn’t have a lot of friends because he doesn’t do well academically (no one wants him in his group… no friends, probably. If he had friends they would probably pull him into his group even if he didn’t do well.)
  • Rejected by his peers, maybe because of his attitude—gives up too easily

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